Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Toxic (Ending)

It had been nearly one month since I had been able to start researching for the cure. The only thing keeping me here is Tyler’s condition. I still think back to when I found out. I can’t help but wish it was me who had it.
“Hey, Jade?” I looked over to see my partner in researching.
“Yeah, whats up?” I asked.
“Well, I noticed you keep spacing out, and…” he trailed off.
“And… what?” I was confused.
“Well, you should go home for the day, I can finish up here.”
“No, I can stay; I need to stay,” he looked confused to why I wanted to continue researching. It’s because I never told anyone why I decided to research here. They don’t know about Tyler and how bad it has gotten over the past month.
“Well, at least go take a break, as your superior I can’t have you getting hurt because of your spacing out,” he said firmly like he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“Fine, but I’m not going home, I can’t, I have to research as much as I can.” I said stubbornly.
“Ok, but just relax a little,” his expression softened and he gave me a smile.
I smiled back because it would be rude to not to. I walked back to the break room passing many beakers and scientific stuff. I opened the door and plopped on the squishy couch in the middle of the room. I sank down and tried to relax. I can’t stay relaxed for too long. I told myself that over and over, but I didn’t get up. I heard the door to the room open, but I guess I fell asleep because that was the last thing I heard.
I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but when I woke up I could feel something covering me up. I looked down to see a lab coat. I moved it off and looked at the name tag. It read Nathan Samuels. I could feel the heat start to rise in my cheeks. Nathan was the name of my partner. Why? I thought.
Just then the lounge door opened. I looked over to see him.
“Hey, Jade.” he greeted me with a smile.
“Hi,” I replied. “How long was I asleep?”
“I think about two or three hours.” he said thinking about it.
“Oh, I better get going! I’m late!” I said panicking.
I quickly got up causing me to get really dizzy. I Ignored it and went to the area where we put our stuff. Nathan followed close behind me looking confused. I took off my lab coat and shoved it in the locker that I put my stuff in.
“Jade, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s nothing, I’m just really late for something really important,” I said, in an even bigger rush than I was before.
“What is so important, if you don’t slow down you’re going to get hurt.”
“I can’t slow down, I’ve never been late before.”
“What’s going on?” he sounded really concerned about me, but I can’t tell anyone about Tyler yet.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” I said shoving the last few things in my bag.
“I’m leaving ok, bye.” I walked out of the room and made my way to the front of the building. Once I got out of the building I started to run towards the hospital. I’m so sorry. I kept saying that over and over in my head. After about ten minutes of running I had to start walking. I was still rushing though. After about another 20 minutes of walking I made it to the hospital. I rushed in through the doors. The nurse automatically knew what I was here for. I came here everyday when I found out his condition.
“Right this way, please,” the nurse said. I followed the nurse hoping that Tyler wasn’t mad at me. I walked into his room. He has been in that same bed for a long time. He looked up and gave me his signature smile.
“Jade!” he exclaimed.
“Hey, Tyler, how are you feeling?” I asked.
“I feel fine, but the doctors don’t seem to think so,” he said sounding a little sad.
“Oh, I hope they can come to think that you are fine.”
“Yeah me too,” he said sighing.
“Oh, sorry for being late today, I got caught up in the lab,” I said sheepishly.
“Really? I didn’t notice you were late, it’s ok if you’re late sometimes,” he said smiling again. His smile could light up a room. I smiled at him. I looked over at the clock in his room. there was only five more minutes till visiting time was over.
“Hey, Tyler?”
“Well…” I trailed off afraid to say what I wanted to say.
“Jade?” he said, “Jade, are you ok?”
“Huh, oh, uh, yeah, I’m ok,” I replied as I heard the door to the room open.
“Visiting times are over, come on you can come back tomorrow,” a nurse said.
“Oh, ok, well I will see you tomorrow Tyler,” I smiled and waved as I left the room. I walked home. In the past month I was able to afford my own apartment. I’m saving most of my money to buy Tyler things he can’t get from where he is at. I pass stores that I want to take Tyler to when he gets better. I sighed as I walked down the street. What am I going to do If I don’t tell him. I can’t think about the possible outcome if I don’t hurry and finish my research. I stopped walking.
“Maybe, I should go to the lab and do more research, but that be against the rules. I could get fired for this,” I said aloud.
“What could you get fired for?” I jumped. I turned to face the speaker.
“Nathan?” I asked puzzled.
“Yeah, so what could get you fired. I don’t want another partner to do something reckless and end up losing their job,” he said with a warning tone in his voice.
“Well…, I just… I wanted to go back to the lab… and do more research,” I said looking at the ground.
“Well…, I can’t really tell you why I want to find a cure so bad, but it is something so important that I would do anything and everything to make it happen.”
“Yeah, but…” he trailed off. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I decided against it.
“Listen, I won’t do if it you really think it’s a bad idea to do research right now, ok.”
“It’s not that, it’s just…” he trailed off. I looked at him and could see the slightest tint of pink on his cheeks. Was he blushing?
“Nathan?” I asked. “Hey, Nathan, what’s wrong?” I called out but he didn’t answer.
“Jade…” he mumbled. “I just… don’t want… you to get in trouble… thats all,” he seemed conflicted, he was obviously holding something back.
“I know that,” I said.
“Just, don’t do anything stupid,” he said in a warning tone.
“I won’t, I’m going home, ok.”
“Ok…, see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, ok.” I started walking again. I wanted to go to the lab, but at the same time I wanted to listen to someone for once in my life other than Tyler. I was feeling conflicted all the way home.
I reached the door to my apartment. I entered a small room. I walked over to the kitchen. My stomach began to tighten. Thats right I didn’t have time to eat anything today. I got in the fridge and took out some of the leftovers from yesterdays dinner. I sighed as I put them in the microwave. I paced around the room waiting for the microwave to ding. When it did I hurried to get the food.
“Same old routine everyday,” I sighed. I ate and went to take a shower. I hurried to get out and slip on my pajamas. I collapsed on my bed and let out a heavy sigh. Soon after I fell in a deep sleep unaware what was happening at the hospital.
I woke up like always, got ready and started to head to the lab. Once I arrived I came face to face with Nathan.
“Good morning Jade!” He said cheerfully.
“Oh, good morning.” I gave him a small smile. The day pretty much went by like any other. It was lunch break when I got a phone call. I was chatting with Nathan about further researching when my phone went off. I answered it and I could feel the tears in my eyes. One by one they came out. Nathan instantly got worried.
“Hey, Jade?” he questioned. “What’s wrong?” you couldn’t answer. I could feel my whole life crumbling. “Jade?” He didn’t know anything. I didn’t know how to start my explanation to him. I got up and walked out of the building. I started sprinting to my destination. I could feel my legs start to burn, but I wouldn’t slow down until I got there. I ran through the hospital doors. The nurse looked up and all you could see in her eyes was sympathy. With that look you knew it was true.
Tyler was gone. I knew that I should have told him, but I never did. I knew he didn’t have much time left, but I never told him. I instantly broke down in the middle of the hospital lobby. The nurses were trying to comfort me, but it didn’t work, not in the slightest. I wanted to see Tyler, to see his smile, to hear his laugh, but now he’s gone. I refused to believe it.
“Tyler, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please come back!” I cried, saying it over and over wanting it all to be a dream. I heard the door to the hospital open. I didn’t care who it was, I just wanted Tyler back. The door closed and I felt arms come around me. I looked up at the person with my red puffy eyes, tears still coming out. It was Nathan.
“Jade, what are you doing here, what’s wrong?” He asked me softly. I continued to cry.
“My brother,” I cried even harder afraid to actually say it out loud, if I say it, I know that it will become apart of reality.
“It’s ok, what happened?” he asked rubbing my back gently. I stayed silent other than the sounds of my muffled crying. He let me cry on him. Somehow I ended up in his car.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked concerned as he drove down the road. I sighed and looked out the window
“Where are we going?” I questioned.
“I don’t know we’re just driving,” he answered.
“I was at the hospital for my brother… he had cancer,” I said sadly. He looked shocked for a split second but his gaze went soft again.
“Is that why you decided to research for a cure?”
“Yeah…, but then I wanted to find one for everyone out there.”
“Your brother, what is his name?”
“His name was Tyler…” I trailed off.
“Yeah, I was at the hospital because he just died,” I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I didn’t want to talk about it, but It felt good for someone to comfort me. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t notice the car stop, until an arm wrapped around me.
“I’m sorry for your loss, but you should continue your research.”
“Why, I lost my brother, he was my only motivation.” I broke into tears again.
“I know It hurts Jade, but you can’t give up; think about all the lives you could save if you keep searching for the cure. You’re close to finding a cure, I just know it!” I couldn’t answer, I just gave him a nod before hugging him back.
The funeral came around and I was broken again, not being able to concentrate I often find myself almost dropping the chemicals at the lab, of course Nathan was there to help. I eventually fell head over heals for him. The pain of losing Tyler motivated me more. I was in so much pain, but Nathan made it somewhat bearable. I missed him.
Years went by and I ended up finding a cure… I often think about Tyler, but I know he’s in a better place. I wouldn’t call my feelings happy. Tylers gone and I will be too, very soon in fact. I’m dying… I don’t have regrets. I’m just sad to leave people behind…, but the good thing is that I will be able to see Tyler again. I miss him.
“Yeah Jade?”
“How long do you think I have left?”
“The doctor said you will be gone in a few hours…” He looked sad.
“Smile ok.” I gave him the sweetest smile I could. Nathan and I had gotten married, but I had a lab accident, thats how I got here.
“I can’t smile knowing that I will lose you.” He sighed and looked at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. I looked up at the white ceiling.
“I think the doctor was wrong…, I think I’ll be gone in less than an hour…” I could hear his breathing almost stop.
“I don’t want to believe that… I just want you to stay a little longer…” I only said that because I could my body starting to get really weak.
“I’m sorry…, but I’m tired now…”
“No, don’t go to sleep, please, stay with me, Jade.” I could hear the desperation in his voice.
“I love you…” That was the last thing I said before drifting off into darkness.

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