Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Who Killed Jimmy

Who Killed Jimmy
        There I was lying on the ground. I couldn’t feel my legs or arms. I tried to get up but I couldn’t. I felt like a slug. I looked into the mist, I thought I could see a human figure.
        I started to scream, “Help, help please!”
        The man in the mist disappeared. So there I was lying there, deathless no help at all, no sign of survival or living. Memories started to flow into my head, I started to remember my family. I could still smell my mother's amazing tea.
        That’s when the strength hit me. I started to push up. I could feel myself leaving the ground. I keep going, and going. When I was half way there something happened. I could feel a large figure grab me and slam me to the ground.
        I yelled, “Who are you, what do you want from me?”
        The man replied, “I want your soul.”
That’s when everything went dark.
“Eight hours earlier.”
        I walked down stairs to my mom and said, “Hey mom, what’s for breakfast?”
        She replied, “Tea, eggs, and toast honey.”
        She always knew I loved her tea. Her tea tasted as if you were drinking tea from heaven. One sip of that baby and you would be in love.
        After breakfast I went to work. I worked at a programing company for Microsoft. I was there top programmer. We were building an app that could let you see threw objects. A lot of people think that it won't work though, so It’s up to me to explain how it works. A couple came in that day and asked how it worked?
        I said, “Well it uses advanced technology. It sends waves through the object to see what’s on the other side, when it finds out it projects it on the screen. The couple seemed amazed. They were in disbelief.
        They started to say, “No, no that’s impossible.”
        I replied, “Yes impossible to the naked eye, want to see it work?”
        They both said happily, “Yes, yes we would love to!”
        “Follow me then.”
        I brought them to the computer that has the program on it. I had them put a cabinet in front of it. I turned on the machine and it showed them behind it. I screenshotted the picture and told them to get over here. They came and saw the pictures. They were astonished.
        They said, ‘That’s amazing, but what is it used for?”
        I replied, “Well that’s a very good question. It is used for police that have to look through walls for dangerous people.”
        They said, “Oh ok that makes since.”
        The couple eventually left. It was my job to fix the bug in the program. After all of that I was driving home. I was probably thirty minutes from home. That’s when it all happened. I saw a red laser on my chest. I looked at the direction.  I saw a sniper aiming at me. I tried to swerve and miss it. It hit me though. My car ran off the bridge. I hit the land at the bottom. I crawled out of the hot steaming metal.
        That’s when I saw him. The man who shot me.
He came down and said, “I finally got you!”
I asked, “Who are you what do you want?”
He replied, “Nothing, I just want you to die.”
“I have my reasons.”
He started to walk way into the midst of the car.”
“No please don’t go,  save me!”
I realized I was alone. I knew I was going to die, so there I was lying on the ground. I couldn’t feel my legs or arms. I tried to get up but I couldn’t. I felt like a slug. I looked into the mist, I thought I could see a human figure.
        I started to scream, “Come back save me!’
        The man in the mist was gone when I looked back up.
I knew I was going to die. I know it was game over for me. I wish I could redo my life. I wish I could make things better. I wish I could do all these things. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I put all my effort in fight world hunger. I wish I could help save many lives. I wish I could go to war.
        Who knew when you were dying you would regret your life.
        I said, “I wish I could tell my mom I love her one last time.”
That’s when it happened. My organs failed right there. I could feel myself going into a deep sleep.  I tried to stay awake. No, no I can’t go. I have to tell my mom I love her. I can’t leave her! Then I passed away.
        My ghost came out of my body, I was floating up into heaven. I looked down at me. I could see the bullet hole still. I thought to myself. I just died….

1 comment:

  1. I thought that this story was pretty good, but you could have done better. You should have started the story from the end not the middle of it.


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